Motherhood & Issues

Few more weeks to go and I will be free to run, to smoke, to party and to wear what I want to wear.

Last seven months had not only added kilos to my body, a lot of weighty issues got solved by me. They all started puzzling me at the beginning. Now after seven months the cloud has cleared. It took me 35 years and seven months of pregnancy to realize that being slow physically is not negative. Taking short breaks at work is good. It helps you to feel re-charged. Relaxing & letting go at times is good. Looks, sex appeal are skin deep. So many years- millions and millions of bottles, jars of moisturizing agent, skin tightening packs – nothing really has been of much use. Your body starts reacting to hormones- any amount of moisturizer does not help when nature decides otherwise.

Another finding. The greatest of all. Lot of your male friends starts avoiding you. Start wondering about your past relationship with them and feel that somewhere you were dumb and you never looked at the sexual angle. But like most men ( the generalization!!!!) – your friends were men- there was an undercurrent somewhere- and now in spite of all your pregnancy glow no one is willing to spend time with you.

And the stories- some of them add to your insecurity issues. Your partner may be fantasizing about other women. You go through articles in glossy magazines which state scary statistics – 3 in ten husbands/ partners cheat during these nine months. Even scarier is when a much married male friend confides in you and says post child 2 has never found his wife attractive.

Worse- partner traveling/ in meeting- stops responding to your sms es- does not return your call- no amount of yoga or meditation helps- you start imagining things-

But I am sure somewhere I must have had done good things- all this fear is inflicted on me through glossy magazines- and nothing is amiss in my life….

Amidst all these insecurities & anxieties there is one great knowledge- pregnancy makes you grow up- the child in you prepares for looking after another child…

May be now that I have come to terms with all my fear I will be a more secure person and be able to distinguish the real from the unreal…

But i will party hard too