The changes

It took me exactly four months to start living again. The initial phase was tough- the very knowledge did not give me peace. Also some stereotypes are in my head- good or bad cant get rid of them.

I kept scrutinizing all my actions- why am I not feeling the way my sister did, or why am I crying because I cant go out partying any more, may be I am officially old now- sex , men etc wont happen to me any more.

My skin felt more uneven, acne and pimples are more in number,hair scantier, body more out of shape. At work I am not going to get an increment this year as my performance is getting hampered- mentally I did not feel upto working any more. But an inner voice kept saying that a job is the only outlet I have- atleast I have a place to go to.

Months went like this - just this week when I went to my Doc and saw the baby again inside my womb, I felt I am like the other stereotypes. I do feel maternal. I dont care if I have a sagging body and skin and a portruding belly. I am happy to just see the outline of the limbs which are growing inside me. Partying can wait!!!!!